OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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