How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
