...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
