Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
