Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
