I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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