I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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