South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
