Banned from zoo.
Again?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
