god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
