I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
