idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
