i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
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