Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
