What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
