If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Dick very happy bro
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
