Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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