Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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