we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I booty called her while she was in labor.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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