Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
