ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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