I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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