Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
