My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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