I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Drunk is not a location!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
