capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
