I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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