I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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