My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
