I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
