I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
