3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
its liver damage thursday
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
