jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
