My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
