Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm just crazy horny about you
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
