do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
