My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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