He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He's a Shit stain on my heart
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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