Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
