ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
