You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
