Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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