We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
