Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
