I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
