His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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