I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
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