I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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