Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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