My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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