so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
