if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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